You know how it goes... you start dating a new guy, but you can’t help but think about what the previous jerk you dated did to you. Don’t worry, it’s normal to do that for a while, but at some point you’re going to have to learn to trust again if you have any hope of having a good relationship with a guy. But it’s so hard, you say! I know, but here are some tips to help you get started.

Recognize that you've got to learn to trust. Make it a goal and work to achieve it. That means that if your new boyfriend comes home a little late one night, it doesn't mean he was out cheating on you like the last guy you dated did. Relax and give him the benefit of the doubt. Remind yourself that this is a different man and a different story, and he deserves a fair chance. Breathe, pause, and respond to who he is now, not just to old fears replaying in your head.

Look for a trustworthy sweetie. How do you know if you can trust him? Look for a guy who's got a job and takes care of his responsibilities, whether it's a child with an ex or his mortgage. Guys who aren't trustworthy become evident pretty quickly when you're dating. Notice how he follows through, shows up, and handles stress; those patterns tell you a lot about his character and reliability over time, long before he ever says the words “trust me.”

Trust yourself to make good decisions in the guys you date. And if you happen to encounter a jerk or a liar, don't panic. You're a smart girl so at the first sign of a lie or other betrayal, instead of wallowing in self-pity, be proactive and get the guy out of your life immediately. Each time you walk away faster, you prove to yourself that you really can protect your heart and choose better next time, turning lessons into power instead of more baggage.